The Beginning...

It sucks to know that you lost an opportunity for something great because of reasons that were not it your control. That's basically what happened to me. Even though I'd been doing some local modelling in college, all of a sudden I got a professional agency in Europe, I won a national competition and went to to compete internationally. I got to wear a crown, I was in newspapers and on tv. I actually had a press event. Don't be mistaken, this was not beauty-pageant work either. This was for professionals, and I was starting to get good work. I thought how much I deserved this after all of the problems I'd had with my health.

I can't be more thankful that my health is good now, I wouldn't trade that for anything after everything I've been through. But the price I paid is that I gained a lot of wieght just when I was becoming a known model. But so what, right? I mean, I'm strong, I figured I'd just buckle down and lose the wieght. I'd never had a problem with food before, and I loved working out so no problem. Some friends even nicknamed me 'skinny'. I was a size 2!! Except that after two months of working out just before the competition, plus five sessions with a dietician, I barely lost 2kg. Which I gained back almost the second I boarded the plane for the competition.

The competition itinerary lasted a month, that we were in a foreign country, and we were working almost 24/7. We would get on a bus and drive for hours not having any idea where we were, doing a fashion show, driving more, doing an appearance, etc.. So glamorous, right? We were barely eating and I still gained 7 kg just in that month.

I know that it sounds like at that rate I would just keep gaining until I exploded. But eventually it stopped at a high of 75 kgs, and I was a size 12. By this point I didn't want to work out, I would eat because I was already "fat" and I didn't want to do anything.

Eventually I was so depressed that I decided to just run away and leave the city for two weeks, which turned into 7 months. Over the summer all of a sudden I noticed that I was starting to slim down, even though I was still eating a lot and not working out. I dropped down to 70 kgs by New Year's (down to a loose 10), and I found out from my doctor that it takes A LOT of time after a surgery and that kind of medication to get your metabolism back to normal.

During this time, I guess that I've always had some hope that I could lose the weight and go back to the life I started. I was working with a lot of agencies (here you don't work with just one), and all of them have continued to call me for jobs. I constantly make up excuses that I'm going to be out of town, out of the country, or have another job that day etc., just so that they won't forget about me. I pray no one I know sees me somewhere when I go out, (not that I think they could recognize me.) I'm on a huge time-crunch because I've been away from this for so long already. If I can make big progress over the next three months, I can be ready to work for the summer. If not, I can kiss this dream goodbye...