New Opportunity!

Okay, so first off, about my diet: still fucking it up. Not totally, but I'm not doing it exactly like I should be either. I don't seem to have gained any weight, but I don't really think I lost either. I know I say this all the time but I really need to start getting my ass in gear.

So another really good reason for me to lose weight: my new opportunity. A few weeks ago an agency I used to model with called me and told me to go to an audition for a tv show, but had no details. They said they wanted a girl who could speak foreign languages and had some dancing/singing talents etc.. I wrote before how I didn't tell any agencies that I gained weight, but they put so much pressure on me to go that I finally said "look, I'm not exactly a size 4 right now so if they want a model let's not all waste our time". But they said just to go and see so I went like at the last possible minute. I was the last girl they saw, and they said they really like me and that they wanted me for the show and that they didn't see anything really wrong in terms of my body that wouldn't look fine on tv. And yes, they saw me in a bathing suit, which took a shitload of pressure because normally they just asked me to strip to my underwear -- by the way, this isn't abnormal or perverted, they really do need to see how your body looks to understand how you will look in skimpy outfits and tight clothes other than your jeans etc..

Anyway, they said it would be a live 2 hour primetime variety show that would aid once a week for 13 episodes the first run and that their contract with the channel wasn't final yet but that when it was, in about a week, they would call me to start rehearsal tapings. Even though I'd been keeping in touch with the producer, after this much time went by I figured it wasn't gonna happen. Not for me, anyway. But the producer called me yesterday and told me to get ready and to have my makeup, hair and some outfits because saturday night we would do a taping.

Oh SHIT!!! Do you know what this means? I had to wax my legs, put a mask on my face and hair, depilatory cream for the arm hairs, gotta go to the salon tomorrow to get my eyebrows underarms and bikini line waxed, manicure and pedicure, keep whitening my teeth, gotta go tan a couple times, and gotta work out the next three days to make sure I'm atleast tight. Plus getting show makeup and hair done on saturday beforehand. Yeah, this stuff takes more prep than you'd think. They're gonna send a car for me Saturday evening, but I don't have a contract signed with them yet, plus I don't know exactly the studio because this rehearsal isn't gonna be on the set at the network. I asked my boyfriend/manager to come with me. It's usually a good idea because the fact is I don't wanna go somewhere alone like this at what is gonna end up being nighttime and end up being forced in some porno. Think it sounds paranoid? Talk to the girls I know.

Plus, my family doesn't know about this yet. I'm gonna have to wait until it's definately time to sign the contract, because I need to catch them when thier mood is good and also I don't know how well they'll take it. It's been a while since I've done this stuff and I think maybe they figure it was all over and I'd settled for my more career-oriented life. Plus, live primetime tv in front of millions of people every week is a bit different than fashion shows and photos.

Anyway, basically I've got a shitload of stuff to think about and do, and I'm totally nervous. Plus, I wanna look really good if I'm gonna finally be getting back into this stuff and people are gonna know who I am again. I can't fuckin' believe it...