Becoming a model, again...: Soooo Hungry! :(

Jun 6, 2007

Soooo Hungry! :(

Oh my gosh, so I really didn't eat anything but some fruit today. I even 86'ed the breakfast and had fruit then too. And I'm totally nauseous and my tummy is growling, I'm so hungry! I keep telling myself it's just another hour or so until bed. I can't screw this up now no matter how tempted I am or this entire day will have been a waste. I know you're probably thinking I'm so weak and whiney, but believe me, I've gone without eating before. This is ten times worse, because you actually are eating and it's making the stomach work and digest. But it's barely anything so you're immediately hungry again. Oh well, just another hour or so and then bed...

Hm, that comment about me being "lazy"...yeah I get that. The whole overanalyzing to the point of not doing anything. That's me. Sometimes I wonder though if it's actual laziness or depression? I never used to be lazy. I was a total overachiever in college, I was the president of practically every campus group. Even now I actually DO stuff. It's not like I sit around not doing anything. I'm just not productive for some reason, I don't really understand it either. In my head, I'm motivated and I wanna do stuff and I have a plan, so what is the hold up? In terms of the modelling stuff, yes I know it's a lot about the weight and not having any self confidence left. But aside from that, I wonder if sometimes I'm sabotaging myself? Like I set myself up to fail? I'm not sure why I'd do something that neurotic.

Oh well, hunger has also motivated me. I've been doing other stuff just not to think about food. I gave myself a manicure, REALLY cleaned the house today, have been surfing the net...man, this sucks. Okay, I'm gonna go get an apricot before my stomach eats itself.

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My Current Diet: From here you can follow each week's diet as my dietician gives them to me.

This week we are back to the first week's diet (which you can see if you click the link below). However, there is a slight difference. One day, breakfast will be the same. But for the rest of the day I will eat 1 kg. (about 2.2lbs.) of only seasonal fruits (strawberries, cherries, apples, pears, nectarines). They can be mixed however you want and you can eat them when you want, just make sure that they are all you eat for the rest of the day and that you don't eat more than 1 kg. Do this for one or two days this week.

My Current Workout: from here you can follow my exercise program as my trainer give it to me.

This week is just cardio, after six days of this we will add wieght training.

Treadmill: 20 minutes with no incline, at a speed of 5.5

Stationary bike: 15 minutes at level 1, rpm around 70

Stairmaster: 8 minutes at level 1

Elliptical Trainer: 10 minutes at level 1, between 55-60 rpm

Rowing: 5 minutes

Be sure to keep your heart rate above 110 but below 130, this is best for maximum fat-burn. My trainer adjusts this each day as it gets too easy or difficult, adjust the difficulty by checking your heart rate. As long as you are between 110-130 keep going at that pace.

Don't change the amount of time or skip anything on the list. Even if you like one machine but hate another, do them all in this order. It is designed to charge your metabolism and impact all your muscles

Aside from the workout, I make sure to walk as much as possible whenever I can.

Witness this...

Yes, I was modelling professionally in Europe, my career was just growing. Just before I represented the USA in an international modelling competition, I had a serious surgery. Because of the two months I spent inactive, plus the medication and steriods I had post-op weight gain. In less than one year I gained approximately 26kg (57lbs), including one month alone where I gained 10kg (22lbs). At my highest weight of about 75kg (165lbs), I was dieting and exercising, and in two months couldn't lost more than 2kg, which I gained back. I learned that this was because I needed to allow at least six month to a year for the effects of the steriods I had been on to wear off. Last summer, I began to lose weight naturally. Now, I am determined to get my body and mind back into shape, and to see if I can make the contacts necessary to get back into the business after disappearing for so long...

The fact that I was a model is not important, I have to struggle with this like any other person trying to lose weight. I hope that the obstacles I encounter will show you that you are not alone, and that maybe I will also be able to support or inspire you in your quest to better yourself.

For girls who are considering modeling, I hope this will show you a little of the work that it takes to make it, and that maybe things that happen to me along the way will help you gain insight into this world.

Real Agencies vs. Scams

Have you ever gotten a postcard in the mail for a modeling agency and then had a meeting where they were talking like they were trying to sell you a condo, while telling you how beautiful you are every two sentences? Or do you know people who are taking "modeling classes"? These are very popular and successful scams. For one thing, an agency will never call or contact you to come model for them if they have never seen you in some way already. Second, you do not have to take any classes to model -- it's not like you're going to be a doctor. A real agency will ask you to come model for them after seeing you at either thier own open-call, or discovering you somewhere. This can even be from a picture or in the mall, but they DO see you. Modeling for an agency means that they work FOR you. Agencies will book you jobs, and then take thier commission which is usually 20-30 percent. You DO NOT pay them to be your agency. They may ask you to take classes on runway or posing, but if they do that is something that the agency will provide FOR you, not something that they have prepared out in package form on paper ready for you to buy. The closest thing that any model should have to classes is finishing school, which is education on culture and being a lady where they teach manners and etiquette. the point is that if you take classes, it should not be under the assumption that you will become a model afterward. Nobody can make you that promise, and in some states it is also illegal for someone to promise you agency services upon completion of purchased classes. As for comp cards and portfolios -- these are things that you will generally need before you even find an agency. However, if your agency arranges a photographer, they will not charge you a studio fee etc.. Your only payment, if any, should be directly to the photographer and to print the pictures. Comp cards should cost more than 50 bucks, by the way. If your agency is saying you need to pay $500 for comp cards, you should tell them to shove it. There is nothing wrong with doing local modeling and naturally local agencies won't have the glamour and resources as major international ones. You may have to do some stuff yourself, like you photos, or hair and makeup before jobs etc.. Just beware that your agency is actually working for you and doing what an agency is supposed to be doing: booking jobs. If you're paying them more money than you getting, at any time, something's wrong.

Persistence Pays!!!

Okay, so let's say you have an agency/agencies that you work with. You'll wait for them to call you, right? Wrong! I always make a point to call my agency once every one or two weeks. Sound obsessive? Don't worry, they won't think so. It shows you're on top of things, and the more they hear your name the more likely it is that they'll think of you. It used to happen to me a lot, where a job would have just come up and when I called, they would tell me about it before having to call another girl. These people are not your potential lover, they're not gonna think you're stalking them. Agencies like to see people who are enthusiastic and ready to work, so put those numbers on speeddial!

Why NOT to Sleep Your Way to the Top

I've run into so many girls who have slept with guys just to catch a break, I feel I really need to say something about this. Now believe me, I've had my share of creepy experiences. I've even had an agency owner whip out his hoo-ha in front of me at our first meeting!

The fact is, that if you've really got what it takes, you won't have to perform anything sexual on anyone. I know this sounds really ideallistic, but it's the truth. The fact is, believe it or not, that these people are in this business to make money. That means that when they're picking someone for a job, they're going use whoever they think will really be the best, because that means they'll make more money. So basically, no one who's willing to say he'll give you a job if you fuck him is honest enough to really give you that job just because you did. You either had it to begin with, or he's lying and you're not gonna get it. And if you don't have sex with him and end up not getting the job, don't feel bad, it wouldn't have changed anything.

The only time having sex will work is if it's for a small job where the person they use doesn't really matter as long as she's decent and then it's not worth it to prostitute yourself anyway. Word spreads fast, and then people who are really important will hear you're a slut and they'll call you just for that too. And once you get that reputation, you can't ever erase it.

The ONLY exception to this rule, is if you're with someone really important, like an agency owner or a magazine owner/editor or a tv producer etc. and then it only works if you actually have a relationship with that person and he really cares what happens to you.

The Importance of Networking

Here's a tip for those of you trying to get into modelling. NETWORKING!!! Usually we think that just putting our name on a list means we'll make contacts, but the truth is that this requires some persistence. First off, you need to make strong contacts. For example, when I had press conferences, obviously I wouldn't call every reporter or cameraman afterward. That wouldn't be professional anyway. But when I would google my name, I'd pay attention to other website etc. that would come up. I met my current business partner/manager that way, he owns a website that had my pics on it and I started talking to him on msn (also a good idea, it can come off as cheap or stalker-like if you call someone you don't know). Also, I would make sure to talk to restaraunt/club/store managers and owners, especially if they know you in person there's a good chance they will want you for thier next event.